Wednesday, February 28, 2007

It Is All Becoming Clear Now. I Am But A Patsy-Boy For Criminals With Very Low Ambitions.

From the trade mag Drug Topics:

Two former executives at CVS Corp. were charged in a probe into influence peddling at the Rhode Island State House. John R. Kramer, former CVS senior VP for corporate affairs and government relations, and Carlos Ortiz, former VP of government affairs, were charged with one count each of conspiracy and bribery and 21 counts each of fraud for allegedly paying former state senator John Celona to scotch legislation

I fail to understand how promoting scotch legislation can be a bad thing. Nonetheless, it appears these two boys are in a bit of trouble. An isolated incident I'm sure. A few bad apples pop up in any group of people.....

Associated Press
May 27th, 2004


Former Rite Aid Corp. chief executive Martin L. Grass was sentenced to eight years in prison Thursday for conspiring to falsely inflate the value of the company his father founded and cover up the scheme. Grass, 50, who headed up the nation's third-largest pharmacy chain, also was fined $500,000 and given three years' probation for his role in a billion-dollar accounting fraud that sent the company's stock tumbling.

Grass' sentence is considerably longer than those imposed on three other former Rite Aid executives sentenced this week after pleading guilty to conspiracy.

Hmmmmmm....now add in the tale of Micky Monus:

In 1992, when Phar-Mor had grown to over 300 stores and 25,000 employees, Monus and his CFO Patrick Finn were accused of embezzlement: they had allegedly hidden losses and moved about $10 million from Phar-Mor to the World Basketball League that Monus had founded

Finn testified against Monus and received 33 months in prison. Monus' first trial ended in a hung jury in 1994; he was convicted at the second trial on 109 federal counts, mostly related to fraud, and sentenced to 19 years and 7 months in federal prison.


OK, forget about the few bad apples. It's a lot of fucking bad apples. It would seem we have a pattern of criminal behavior throughout the chain drugstore industry. Really stupid criminal behavior. Forget about being dumb enough to get caught. These clowns put their ass on the line by paying off a local legislator in the smallest state in the country, or so they could establish a basketball league for players 6-foot-5 and under. I'm not making that up. In Rite-Aid's case, the billion dollar fraud was evidently for no point whatsoever. I am profoundly embarrassed to be employed in this sector. I'm thinking of quitting and joining the competent criminals of the mob, so I can at least take a little pride in my organization. Bootleg liquor, easy broads, and non-stop protection money rolling in the front door beat the hell out of basketball played by midgets.

I at least hope the scotch legislation passed.

Monday, February 26, 2007

Today A Worried Parent Gave Me A Metaphorical Motivational Pat On The Ass. Like Those Supposedly Straight Football Players Do All The Time.

"Drugmonkey, what do I put for the strength on this prescription?" My trusty tech asked as she put a paper full of random semi-readable scrawls in front of me. No pharmacist ever likes to hear those words. They always signal trouble, and sure enough, nowhere amongst the scribbles was a strength of Zithromax mentioned.

"fuck..........Fuck.........FUCK!" Would have been a way to paraphrase the thoughts that then went through my head. "I don't have time for this shit! 30 goddamn prescriptions on the counter and a hoard of barbarians in the store that wanted their crap 20 minues ago and now I have to try and get a hold of this goddamn moron when I know damn well it's 200 per teaspoonful. No way it's not 200mg, but now everything grinds to a fucking halt." I could feel my head about to explode.

Before it did though, I saw Dad standing in the aisle in front of me. Our eyes met for a couple seconds and it told me volumes. Dad usually didn't take care of these things. Something like this was usually entrusted to Mom, who for some reason couldn't deal with it today, so it was up to Dad, and Dad was nervous. What to me was just an annoying inconvenient little fuck up that I wished would grow wings and fly away was his sick daughter that he would move heaven and earth to make well again. It wasn't up to him though, he had to put his daughter in the hands of others, one of which was me. Dad was nervous. I saw all that in a few seconds of eye contact, and it kept my head from exploding.

"Is there something wrong?" asked Dad. I've mentioned before how the pharmacy where I work is laid out like a Subway restaurant.

"Nothing we can't take care of" I said. "We just need to clarify the strength of your medicine with the doctor. It won't take long once we can get him on the phone"

Of course this only served to scare the crap out of Dad. He listened intently as I waded through first a voice mail, than an answering service, then another call to the covering after hours physician. I let him give me his daughters weight so he could feel like he was contributing something towards the problem's solution. There was no way it was anything other than 200mg, and that's the answer I coached out of the on-call doc when I got him on the line.

I did nothing really. About anyone who's literate could have looked over the Zithromax package insert and figured out the right dose. Dad gave me a sincere "thanks" as he started out the door, but I should have been the one thanking him. The look on his face once he was comfortable the correct prescription was being given to his daughter was the best pep talk I've had in years.

Kinda like when those football players pat each other on the ass. Without the homosexual undertones.

A Drug Monkey Radio Tribute To Hollywood's Newly Anointed Best Director

The question the Drug Monkey is pondering this night:

Of which of the following lifetime accomplishments should a person be most proud?

1) Inspiring an assassination attempt on Ronald Reagan.

2) Pissing off millions of Christians the world over. Seriously pissing them off. To the point of foaming at the mouth type pissed off.

3) Winning an Academy Award for best director.

Man, tough call. If I could do just one of these things I would consider my life successful beyond my wildest dreams. As of tonight though, Martin Scorsese has done all three. Click play on Drug Monkey radio on the right side of this page and share some of the Hollywood glamour that is this Oscar night.

Saturday, February 24, 2007

An Update On Perfect Skin Woman.

She was in the store again today, picking up a prescription for her daughter. Her 21 year old daughter. She said not a word to me. Now, I'm not kidding myself. I know the chances of me ever scoring the mother/daughter/drugmonkey trifecta would always have been incredibly small. After the way I blew off this woman last time though, they are now pretty much zero.

The prescription was for Retin-A. She really does have an obsession with perfect skin.

Friday, February 23, 2007

New Tune On Drugmonkey Radio. "Ramblings Live"

I've found this song going through my head.......a lot..... of late while I'm filling your prescription. That's probably a window into my soul that is best left unpursued. It's on the right side of the page. Click play and welcome to a bit of my world.

Thursday, February 22, 2007

Give Us This Night Our Daily Freaks.

Highlights from today's pill counting action:

Customer: "What's This?"

Me: "It's a sign about a new Medi-Cal policy. They're assigning new numbers to people so it's important to make sure you bring in your latest card the next time you get a prescription"

Customer: "What does that mean?"

Me: "Make sure you have your card with you when you get your prescription filled"

Customer: "What?"

Me: "Mrs. Smith, do you have Medi-Cal?"

Customer: "No."

Me: "Then the sign is nothing you need to worry about."

Customer: "Should I call my husband?"

Word has reached the Drugmonkey late tonight that the state has put off the implementation of regulations requiring the use of those new Medi-Cal numbers. I have a feeling the decision may have had something to do with conversations that went the way that one did.

Later that afternoon a customer stopped in front of me. The pharmacy where I work is laid out a lot like a Subway sandwich shop, my employer realizing that the best way to ensure prescription accuracy is to make it as easy as possible to interrupt the person filling your prescription. The lady was like 3 feet in front of me, at eye level, staring.

Me, noticing a bit of an awkward moment here: "Hello."

Before I tell you what happened next, I want to reiterate the lady was standing close to me, and that the timing of her smile would seem to indicate that she had heard me greet her.

The woman then slowly.......very slowly..... reached up with her hand, ever so gently moving it forward with all the deliberateness of a brain surgeon. When her hand broke through some imaginary plane, she said to me:

"Oh, I thought you were behind glass."

The cleanest glass in the world evidently. Magic clean glass that provides no barrier to sound. My mother is proud of the work I do for some reason.

Release the scotch.....

Wednesday, February 21, 2007

A Shocking Discovery Concerning Norm Coleman, Republican Senator From Minnesota.

I could have listened to Al Franken more. In the almost three years he was broadcasting the flagship show on the Air America radio network I did all I could to make sure I never missed a hate e-mail of the day, a 15 second debunk, or an episode of the Oy Yoy Yoy show. But there were times when I would do things. Things like get out of the car to pump gas and not leave the radio on, get the mail without wearing my Walkman, even.....days when I slept through the show and never caught it later on the computer. Now Al has decided to run for the U.S. Senate, and the show is gone forever. I will never have those moments back, and it saddens me.

In looking at the record of the man who now holds that Senate seat however, I have found what could quite possibly be the reason Franken decided he had to run. Norm Coleman is the man Al Franken will be running against, and Norm Coleman has never denied he is a member of Al-Qaeda.

It's true. In going through the public record, I cannot find a single instance where Norm Coleman has said he is not a member of this dastardly organization dedicated to the destruction of Western Civilization and each and every thing held dear by you and your family.

What is Norm Coleman hiding? Why can't he come clean about any possible connection between himself and the attacks of September 11th? On his website, Coleman touts his work "to ease travel to Canada" Would a member of Al-Qaeda want to make it easier to slip back and forth across the border? I think they would, and Norm Coleman has never denied he is a member of Al-Qaeda.

He also wants to raise your taxes.

Call Norm Coleman today at 202-224-5641 and demand he set the record straight about his membership in Al-Qaeda. Don't the people of Minnesota deserve to know of any possible connection between one of their Senators and terrorism? I think they do.

Monday, February 19, 2007

On A Cold And Gray California Mornin, A Poor Little Baby Child Is Kept From Bein' Born. In The Ghetto.

Today I went back to my roots and pulled a shift in the ghetto. I used to regularly work in the ghetto, and I miss it. It's far more interesting there than with the affluent clientele' I work with these days. Let's face it, assholes are boring. They look the same. They act the same. There are perhaps 5 acceptable hair styles, clothing types, and thoughts that are allowed among those with a high net worth, and watching how quickly the credit cards can come out when the insurance claim for Viagra is denied time after time can get more than a little monotonous. In the ghetto however, the cluelessness, the desperation, and the zest for life you can have when you know you might die tomorrow almost always makes for a lively work experience, and today was no exception. First thing this morning an old Asian lady makes her way to the happy pill room carrying an empty shopping basket and proceeds to fill 'er up with prophylactics. Damn near cleared out all the rubbers we had, then looks at me and says at a volume that might have been indicative of hearing loss, "YOU KEEP GOOD STOCK"

I don't know if this was intended as a compliment or as a command.

"She runs the massage parlor up the street" My temporary trusty tech for the day told me later.

"And exactly how do you know this?" I asked, and we both had a good laugh. He never did answer the question.

Later on he said it would be funny if he went to this woman's place of business and made some smart-ass comment about the stock she kept.

"When was the last time someone checked the expiration date on those condoms?" I said, and it looked like a light bulb went off in his head. They tell you in pharmacy school you'll be saving lives. They don't always tell you how.

No one ever caught AIDS from a scotch bottle. Never a boring day in the ghetto.

Apologies to Elvis for the post headline.

Sunday, February 18, 2007

One Drugmonkey, Two Counters, Three Phone Lines. You Do The Math......

....and tell me why I am in such a pissy mood after this workday.

Another set of numbers:

30mls = 1 ounce

1 ounce = 1 shot scotch

6 shots = One day washed from my memory.

The two sets of numbers are intimately related to one another. Now leave me the fuck alone until tomorrow.

A Piece Of Evidence That Confirms My Brilliance.

From today's New York Times:

One of the most important decisions that Senator Hillary Rodham Clinton made about her bid for the presidency came late last year when she ended a debate in her camp over whether she should repudiate her 2002 vote authorizing military action in Iraq.


.....In the end, she settled on language that was similar to Senator John Kerry’s when he was the Democratic nominee in 2004:


Similar to John Kerry's huh? Hmmmmmm....now go read the headline of this post, written two days ago.

A goddamn genius, that's what I am. It's amazing I don't charge you people to read what I think.

Saturday, February 17, 2007

Action Pharmacy Picture #2. Brought To You By Eisai® Pharmaceuticals.

Got this one from an ad touting Eisai's "Human Health Care Pharmacist Recognition Award." For some reason I did not win this award:




Pharmacist: Mrs. Johnson. Answer me honestly. Are you ready for this consultation?

Mrs. Johnson: uh, yeah, I guess so.

Pharmacist: Very well then. It begins. I need you to look at this paper Mrs. Johnson. Not at me! The paper! Tell me what it says here.

Mrs. Johnson: The Pharmacy America Trusts.

Pharmacist: Foolish woman! This is not a time for the slogans of commerce! This is a consultation! Above the advertising!

Mrs. Johnson: May cause drowsiness?

Pharmacist: Yes! Exactly! We have achieved a breakthrough. You see now you should not attempt to do anything that requires less than your utmost mental sharpness while you are under the influence of this elixir. You see this!

Mrs Johnson: Do you sell money orders here?

Pharmacist: Focus on the paper Mrs Johnson! For the love of God, focus!! Here it says this sweet syrup may cause dry mouth. I must also tell you a related side effect is urinary retention......... I wet my bed until I was 15 years old. It's true.

Mrs. Johnson: I think I should go now.

Pharmacist: Godspeed to you my lady! God speed as you address this challenge to your very well being.

Mrs. Johnson walks away. The pharmacist stays at the counter weeping softly. Remembering what it was like to wake up in his own urine and a sure beating by his father.

"It wasn't my fault, it was the medicine..........sob...........the medicine........"

Thursday, February 15, 2007

Hillary Clinton. John Kerry In A Pant Suit.

I was really looking forward to not getting involved this time around.

Four years ago, the shock of how incredibly stupid most of you fuckers were being drove me to use my vacation time to go to New Hampshire. I wholeheartedly believe in your right to be stupid as long as it doesn't hurt anyone else, but you started a war, and wars hurt people. I thought burning up my vacation time to try to talk some sense into members of my own party was the least I could do. My party didn't want to hear it though. There was one viable candidate who was unambiguously telling you and everyone who would listen George Bush was making a mistake, but you wouldn't listen. You listened to the scream instead. You have no idea the disillusionment that washed over my soul as I watched people that should have known better vote for the phony, spineless, finger in the wind non-leader John Kerry over the person who was being honest. 2004 will always be remembered by me as the year fear trumped truth.

But hey, it's 2007 and times have changed. Most of you realize now that I was right. No hard feelings. Simply send me a signed, notarized statement admitting you were wrong and that my judgement is better than yours, and I will consider forgiving. Forgetting however, is off the table. Thankfully people, or at least Democrats, seem to have figured out the evil that is George Bush's death machine, meaning this year I can use my hard-earned vacation time to go somewhere warm and sunny and have my scotch by the beach with a little umbrella in the glass confident that the nominee of my party will fight the good fight in the next presidential election. Maybe someone like John Edwards:

I was wrong.

Almost three years ago we went into Iraq to remove what we were told -- and what many of us believed and argued -- was a threat to America. But in fact we now know that Iraq did not have weapons of mass destruction when our forces invaded Iraq in 2003. The intelligence was deeply flawed and, in some cases, manipulated to fit a political agenda.


It was a mistake to vote for this war in 2002.


Good for you Opie.

Opie's not the only good candidate running this time around. Here's a cut and paste from BarakObama.com:

Before the war in Iraq ever started, Senator Obama said that it was wrong in its conception. In 2002, then Illinois State Senator Obama said Saddam Hussein posed no imminent threat to the United States and that invasion would lead to an occupation of undetermined length, at undetermined cost, with undetermined consequences.


Sweet. The only thing better than admitting you made a mistake is not making a mistake in the first place. These Democratic presidential candidates just keep getting better and better. Let's see what Hillary Clinton had to say when asked about her vote to authorize the war:

Roger Tilton, 46, a financial adviser, told Clinton that unless she recanted her vote, he was not in the mood to listen to her other policy ideas.

"I want to know if right here, right now, once and for all and without nuance, you can say that war authorization was a mistake," said Tilton.

Clinton replied: "The mistakes were made by this president, who misled this country and this Congress"


Oh Shit. She was given a point-blank opportunity to admit she made a mistake and instead blamed George Bush for misleading the Congress. The Congress she was a part of. Kinda like when Bill misled her about Monica. It's looking like there are some serious judgement problems with this woman who fell for the lies of two consecutive presidents.

Yet as of this moment she is the front runner. You're not going to make me come to New Hampshire again are you? I was really looking forward to not getting involved this time around.

Tuesday, February 13, 2007

Today My Pharmacy Tech Brokered A Peace Deal Worthy Of Camp David.

Me, upon seeing one of our regular little old blue haired lady customers entering the front of the store: "Ugh......I HATE this woman."

Pharmacy Manager: Why is that?

This type of question usually opens the floodgates of my mind, resulting in me spouting forth a tidal wave of past wrongs committed by said customer, my blood pressure rising to new heights as I give a detailed, lengthy explanation of why this person deserves to be banned from the store, and more importantly, from my life. I am a petty man who has a long memory and holds grudges. This time though, after a few seconds of silence I said "I don't remember, I just do."

Pharmacy Manager: Well she hates you too. She told me once she wasn't going to come here anymore when you were working. She must really be sick.

Me: Good. I hate her.

Pharmacy Tech: I think it's because she's hard of hearing and you thought she was stupid.

Me: Nuh uh, I wouldn't do that.

Pharmacy Manager: Yes you would. You totally would.

Me: Shut up.

As this conversation unfolded the top of her little blue head approached the pharmacy like the fin of a great white shark.

Pharmacy Tech: Seriously Drugmonkey, she's not that bad. We see a lot worse.

Me: I don't care. Go to the counter and keep her away from me.

Blue hair is picking up a prescription and some cat treats from the pet supply section. My trusty tech interrupts the transaction to turn to me and say:

"Aren't these the treats your cat likes so much Drugmonkey?"

Mentally I turned the knob on the phaser I keep behind my eyeballs from stun to kill. I aimed at the tech and prepared to shoot laser beams out of my retinas. Evidently my phaser batteries needed recharging though, as nothing happened. I was forced to answer the question.

"Yes."

Blue Hair: WHAT??

Tech: Drugmonkey says his cat loves these treats

Oh you're so gonna die when I find my recharger. I did NOT volunteer that information.

Blue Hair: WHAT'S YOUR CATS NAME?

Me: Spooky.

Blue Hair: WHAT??

Tech: He said spooky. She's a black cat he got on Halloween.

Blue Hair: YOU DON'T LOOK LIKE THE KIND OF PERSON WHO WOULD HAVE A CAT. YOU SHOULD BRING IN A PICTURE.

Me: Maybe I will.

Blue Hair: "HAVE A NICE DAY"

What was now radiating from my tech's eyes had nothing to do with phasers. It had more to do with smugness. A rare moment of harmony settled over the happy pill room.

Of course the tech is a woman. This afternoon she provided a small example of why men should be barred from all positions of power.

Monday, February 12, 2007

I Thought The Reason The Raving Lunatic At My Counter Was Wearing A Judicial Robe Had Something To Do With Him Needing A Fix.

Turns out the two facts weren't related at all. From The Washington Post:

The late Chief Justice William H. Rehnquist took a powerful sedative during his first decade on the Supreme Court and grew so dependent on it that he became delusional and tried to escape from a hospital in his pajamas when he stopped taking the drug in 1981, according to newly released FBI files.

The files reveal dramatic new details about the length and intensity of the addiction. During its routine 1986 investigation of Rehnquist's background, the FBI concluded that Rehnquist began taking the drug Placidyl for insomnia after back surgery in 1971, the year before he joined the court. By 1981, he apparently was taking 1,500 milligrams each night, three times the usual starting dose.

Doctors interviewed by the FBI told agents that when the associate justice stopped taking the drug, he suffered paranoid delusions. One doctor said Rehnquist thought he heard voices outside his hospital room plotting against him and had "bizarre ideas and outrageous thoughts," including imagining "a CIA plot against him" and "seeming to see the design patterns on the hospital curtains change configuration."

At one point, a doctor told the investigators, Rehnquist went "to the lobby in his pajamas in order to try to escape."

OK I'm really kidding. About Rehnquist ever being at my counter. The part about a Justice of The Supreme Court of The United States very likely being stoned while on the job is true. Remember this before you call the addicts at your counter losers. The tale of Chief Justice Rehnquist just goes to show that in this country there is no limit as to how far an ambitious drug addicted individual can go.

OK I'm kidding again. There are totally limits on how far an addict can go if they are dumb enough to start their addiction before they're able to move up a few steps on society's power ladder. When the drugs started to take control Rehnquist could go to George Washington University Hospital. When Rush Limbaugh was exposed as a doctor shopping hypocrite, he was sentenced to 18 months of drug treatment. Meanwhile, federal and state governments spend $9,000,000,000 of your tax dollars locking up people not rich or powerful as part of the War On Drugs, many for offences far less serious than those committed by the two old rich white guys I mention here. Remember kids, just say no to drugs. Until you have money or influence.

I've mentioned before I'm an atheist. However I'm not offended by the words "under God" in the pledge of allegiance. It's the "liberty and justice for all" I find offensive. Now you have some idea why.

Saturday, February 10, 2007

Some People Get Drunk And Do Things They Later Regret. I, Evidently, Am No Exception.

I guess on the spectrum of things a person can do in a memory blackout phase, it's not all that bad, but it still has me worried and a bit creeped out. I began this day with my usual morning afternoon wake up waddle over to the computer. Make some coffee. Clear the eye snot out of my vision, that kind of thing. Been awhile since I opened up the I-Tunes, so I decided to go for it while looking over today's news headlines.

There was a disturbance in the I-Tunes. I discovered upon fully entering the world of the awake that I had a hard drive full of Stone Temple Pilots. There's no way alcohol wasn't involved.

Now I've got nothing against the Stone Temple Pilots. I bought one of their albums back in the day after reading a slam in Rolling Stone that they were nothing but a Pearl Jam sound alike band. And I suppose if Pearl Jam replaced all their members with musicians not quite as talented as Pearl Jam, and lost their ability to write meaningful lyrics, then yes, the two bands would sound a lot alike. That's not my point. I listened to one Stone Temple Pilots album for around 6 months maybe 14 years ago and probably have not thought of them since. Now in a scotch induced fog they come storming out of the attic of my mind and convince me I need 12 of their tracks right now. It's not the money, the one thing my employer is good at is getting checks into my bank account, it's the possible window into my soul that will have me concerned the rest of this day, and possibly through the weekend.

What else could I have buried in my head? The thought chills my spine.

(Note: For bonus content to this post, click on "Art School Girl" on Drugmonkey Radio, to the right of this page.)

Wednesday, February 07, 2007

Tonight's Action Pharmacy Picture. Brought To You By Amgen ®

The picture is from the Fall 2006 issue of The Amgen Pharmacy Review. The rest is made up:




Dork In Glasses: Mary, the most important part of filling the prescription is getting the pills in the vial. Do you understand?

Mary: I think so.

Dork: This isn't a time for thinking Dammit! People are counting on you! They are counting on those pills.......getting into that vial! Now if you don't think you can handle it.....

Asian Dude: She can handle it Mike, just back off and give her some space. You're doing just fine Mary.

Mary: I don't know......

Dork: DO IT!

Mary drops the pills, the counting tray, and the vial and runs out of the room.

Asian Dude: Well you broke another one Mike....... they way you almost broke me.

Mike and the Asian Dude's eyes then locked upon each other. The pills could wait.

Monday, February 05, 2007

Of Course The Pro-Life Party In Power Isn't Concerned With Your Life, Or The Lives Of The People It's Having You Pay To Kill.

Rezulin, Baycol, Bextra, Duract, Posicor, Propulsid, Tequin, Redux, Seldane, Vioxx. Those of you in the profession know where I'm going with this. These are all drugs that went through the Food and Drug Administration's process to prove they were safe and effective, only to be pulled from the market after they turned out to be not so safe. There are people dead now because they took these drugs. Ketek may soon be added to the list.

One would think that maybe after the third, or fourth, or maybe fifth drug that had to be pulled from the market over the last 15 years or so that it might occur to someone there was a problem in the FDA approval process. Nope. It took at least 10 of these recalls before our government got around to even making a plan to address the situation. Were the people in charge a little thick in the head as we used to say back home, or did they just not care? I'll report, you decide:

From a New York Times piece on the recently unveiled plan to stop having new drugs kill us:

the plan does little to address a problem that nearly all agree underlies many of its woes: a chronic shortage of government money. As Dr. von Eschenbach noted at the news conference, the agency has regulatory authority over about a quarter of the American economy. After the Sept. 11 attacks, the agency was asked to increase its efforts to prevent bioterrorism. Despite having greater responsibilities, its budget has remained relatively flat for years.


Rezulin, Baycol, Bextra, Duract, Posicor, Propulsid, Tequin, Redux, Seldane, and Vioxx, and the budget of the FDA remained relatively flat. Were they stupid or did they just not care? Wait, there's more:

The agency gets about $400 million of its $1.9 billion budget from fees assessed on drug makers. Under a formula negotiated with the drug industry, this money comes with strings attached. One restriction was that the F.D.A. could use little of the money to track the safety of approved drugs.


So, the entities that are supposed to be regulated put up 21% of the money used by the agency that is supposed to be doing the regulating, then tells the agency it can't use any of that money to regulate them.

Rezulin, Baycol, Bextra, Duract, Po$icor, Propul$id, Tequin, Redux, $eldane, and Vioxx. Were they $tupid or did they ju$t not care? The Drugmonkey vote$ for them ju$t not caring.

Some of you may be getting ready to pounce by saying there's no evidence the FDA has put less of an emphasis on drug safety in this era of drug company funding. Oh but there is:

The F.D.A. plan promises to return the agency to its scientific roots. It once had robust laboratories that conducted original studies to assess drug risks on its own. Those laboratories were largely eliminated in the past decade to apply more money to the drug-approval process and the support of a bare-bones computer program to track side effects of drugs.

Of course you can make up your own mind, but I'm totally going with the federal government not caring that new drugs were killing people. Because when the federal government does care about something, it doesn't seem to have any trouble coming up with the money for it. From USA Today:

President Bush's defense budget reflects the toll of wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, proposing money to increase the size of the Army and Marine Corps and replace war-damaged weapons and equipment.

The budget also proposes buying new weapons and spending $141 billion to continue fighting in Iraq and Afghanistan next year. Bush's budget brings Pentagon spending to $623 billion for 2008. It also includes a supplemental request for $93 billion to pay for fighting in Iraq and Afghanistan for the rest of this year.

That's an 11 percent increase over last year. When the federal government cares about something, it doesn't seem to have any trouble coming up with the money for it. It's totally looking like they just didn't care that the Vioxx in your medicine cabinet could kill you.

Wanna see what the $1.2 trillion dollars, enough to fund over 600 Food And Drug Administrations, that has been spent on Mr Bush's Iraq adventure buys? American media don't seem to want to show you what you're paying for. I had to go to the UK Guardian to get this:



The caption at the bottom of the picture says:

A student walks past bloodstains outside her Baghdad school, which was hit by mortar fire last Sunday, killing five pupils.


Proud of yourself? You paid to start this fight. If you split the cost of this butchery up evenly among every man, woman and child in the United States, it comes to over $3000 apiece. So far.

You Republican types have figured out what the real problem in spending taxpayer money is though. Over and over I hear the well paid people in my profession ranting almost to the point of foaming at the mouth about some baby momma on Medicaid. "Why the hell should I pay for their child?" Over and over again...the resentment of being forced to pay to help support someone else's child.

Being forced to pay for someone else's child to walk through blood to get to school bothers me more. I'm funny like that. I wish you were too. I wish you cared a tenth as much about the life and death issues of the day as you do about that baby momma trying to get some free Tylenol. About Big Pharma greasing the palms of your government to let safety slide. I wish you cared about that the way you do about that febrile child who was dumb enough to choose the wrong parents.

$300,000,000 will be spent to end lives in Iraq today. That's a good deal more than that baby momma, than all the baby mommas, are costing you. Do you care? I wish I could say I thought you did.

Sunday, February 04, 2007

Best Law Ever!!!!!!!!!!!

Pages upon pages of new laws regarding the practice of pharmacy went into effect in my state at the beginning of the new year. Being a conscientious professional, I thought 35 days into it maybe I should take a look at what those new laws might be. Little did I know my effort would reap such a reward. From the newly revised law book:

Business and Professional Code 4052.4- authorizes pharmacists to perform skin puncturing activities and lab tests......

Now I'm no lawyer, but it looks to me like I am now authorized to stab you, and very likely to shoot you as well, as it cannot be denied both these activities puncture the skin. I can also apparently take your cholesterol level when I'm done, which I'm not as interested in.

I have the best fucking state legislature in the world.

Oh happy day.

I Love It When Large Men Who Don't Know They're Gay Fight Over A Leather Sack


Actually that's not fair. Some of them do realize they're gay. In or out of the closet doesn't really matter. Point is at almost exactly 1 o'clock this afternoon the store died. Like someone flipped a switch. I seriously thought something on the scale of 9/11 must have rocked the world. Then I remembered.

The secular sack-fighting holiday.

It was the most wonderful holiday ever. When I had to take a piss, I calmly walked over to the restroom and urinated in peace. A customer came to the counter and asked a question. I gave a full and complete answer and had time to add a joke about how living in Cincinnati during the 90's broke me of any desire to follow professional football. Who knew Vicodin addicts were followers of the world of sport? But even they were nowhere to be found on this day. A truly magical, special day. I've had many a real holiday where I've worked much harder.

At this point I still haven't checked to see who won the actual game, but I think there should be a rematch. Perhaps a best of seven series. Hell, play every day you aggressive closeted homosexuals. Turns out you fit into my plans far better than I ever thought you could.

Saturday, February 03, 2007

It'll Probably Be Around Half An Hour To Get This Filled For You Ma'am.....

"Well he's in pain"

I know what you mean. Is it that soak through to the marrow, soul numbing, personal pain that comes from being put in a position of never being able to meet anyone's expectations, but never being able to quit, or even stop to rest for 12 hours? Of always being just short of adequate, while 3 phone lines are ringing, your district office is saying you're using too many labor hours and your customers are asking why their prescriptions take so long? Is it that kind of pain? I hate that kind. Sometimes when you're glaring at me from the first aid aisle with that pouty look whileI'mtryingtokeepupwithadoctorcallinginaprescriptionatthespeedoflight and not make any mistakes I imagine my wrists have been slit and I can feel the blood flowing down my arms. it's a nice warm feeling. That's what helps my pain. I don't think that's normal.......

Anyway, your prescription will be out in about 30 minutes.

Thursday, February 01, 2007

Time Is Short And I Have No Ideas For The Blog. What To Do? Rip Someone Off Of Course.

Doin' the 9's the next few days my friends....in at nine, out at nine. Throw in sleeping, eating, and pissing and that doesn't leave much time for you. I'm sorry. I'm sure you understand.

I know you expect quality true stories about real life retail freaks though, and you expect them often. Fear not. I have scoured the internet to bring you what you deserve. Actually I scoured the internet looking for myself. My ego is unmatched in the universe. You'll notice the post I found mentions me. You talk about me anywhere online and I'll find it. Remember that. The author has been a very good sport about my stalking behavior though, and I'm sure you'll find the story worthy:

So I'm at work. Being a tool to the establishment as usual. Dusting shelves. Talking about the blogger formerly known as DrugNazi. Perusing the ad that's insanely thick for the Christmas season, because apparently Jesus died so we could shop.

And up walks scraggy shaggy. Asking the pharmacist prices. Wanting to know the price of a "little white pill" that's for blood pressure.

Pharm-"Um, there's a lot of those. Do you know the name?"
VM-"Lisinop."
P-"You mean lisinopril?"
VM-"No. Lisinop."
P-"Well, there's no medication called 'lisinop' so the label must have cut off the rest of the name."
VM-"OK, it's 20/12.5."
P-"That means there's hydrochlorothiazide in it too."
Pharmacist gives him the price for 60.
VM- "And I take 100mg of hydrochlorothiazide a day. One four times a day. It's a little pink pill."
P- "But there's already HCTZ with the lisinopril you're taking."
VM- "Well, that's what I take."
Pharmacist gives him the price for 120.
VM- "I have insurance. It's a $10 co-pay."
P-"Then it would be the same here. If you have insurance, it's the same regardless of where you go."
VM- "My co-pay is $10."
P-"Then it would be $10 here. IT WILL BE THE SAME REGARDLESS OF WHERE YOU GO."
For those of you who don't know, HCTZ is a water pill. Makes you pee a lot. Most people just take one. And this guy supposedly takes 6 a day. Piss should have been running down his leg. Maybe it was.
VM- "Um, and can I get the price for 6 viagra?"
Pharmacist gives him the price.
Creepy viagra man leaves.
P-" He was just asking me those other prices because he just really wanted a price on the viagra."
Me- "You think? How did you see through that one?"
P- "I don't know, it was hard."
Me- "Well, since he's taking SIX HCTZ a day, maybe he pissed out his brains."
For some men, viagra should be considered a concealed weapon. Seriously creep me out. Get your limp flannel self out of here. Visible shudder visible shudder visible shudder.

Gotta love the "smart" erectile disfunct guy who thinks he's being smooth by asking other questions first. We know your agenda. And we don't like it.

Where's the female version? It's supposedly been in the works for about a decade now. Doesn't surprise me though. If men can't figure the real thing out, how are they going to make a pill for it?

Would be helpful after a woman sees creepazoids like that though. Eewwwww. The Lord Giveth and the Lord Taketh. Maybe it's just me, but I think He did it for a reason.


Wow. That was the easiest post for me to write ever. You people should write more stuff like this for me to find. Don't e-mail it to me, that would be too easy. Prove yourselves stalkworthy and you'll win my heart.

I Work For An Employer Who Is Wise

An employer who likes to make money. Fine. I'm a general fan of money myself, and until the revolution comes that's just the way it is. I can deal.

My employer likes to think about how it can make more money, make plans that involve making more money, and call meetings to let employees know what it has decided are the best ways to make more money. One such meeting was held recently involving all the pharmacy managers in our district. At this meeting it was emphasized to the pharmacy managers the importance of keeping payroll costs under control. Putting money in the hands of employees means less money for the corporation the pharmacy managers were told, and this must be avoided whenever possible.

Every store's pharmacy manager was there at the all day meeting so they could be told of the importance of controlling payroll. Every store was open at the time. Which meant that every store in the district had a staff pharmacist, like me, earning time and a half for the last 4 hours of a 12 hour shift that day. I probably won't laugh all the way to the bank, but I'm sure I'll let out a chuckle or two.

The managers were paid mileage to get to the meeting.

Just In Case You Thought It Was Ok To Let Up On The Jihad Watch.....

....it's not. Not even for a little bit:

TAMPA, Florida (AP) -- A college student who told police she had been raped was jailed for two days after officers found an old warrant accusing her of failing to pay restitution for a 2003 theft arrest.

While she was behind bars, a jail worker refused to give her a second dose of the morning-after contraceptive pill because of the worker's religious convictions, the college student's attorney said.

The 21-year-old woman was released Monday only after attorney Vic Moore reported her plight to the local media.

There's nothing for me to add here.