Your writing style usually rides a fine line between informative and entertainment in the form of satire. Lately, your use of sarcasm has been taken to such heights that it feels like I'm reading The Onion. I don't like The Onion.
I am a long time fan of your page and satisfied owner The Pharmacy Rip Off List, but if this is a sign of things to come then you may loose me as a an advid reader.
"It was like my world had ended" Drugmonkey said from his undisclosed location deep in The Sierra Nevada Mountains. "I mean, I realize I had taken the blog in a completely different direction with my post about Walgreens executives getting millions of dollars in severance pay after making a billion dollar error, but never in my wildest dreams did I realize an Onion rip-off article, which I had never, ever attempted before, might alienate one lone reader the way it seems to have done here."
"So after I read this I realized I had a choice. Have my writing style associated with an award winning, incredibly popular, wildly successful cutting edge comedy publication, or take a chance on "loosing" an "advid" reader.
(Look, I realize I may need a copy editor more than most people, but is anyone on the internet ever going to get this right ever again? Loose is the opposite of tight for fuck's sake, and lose is the opposite of gain or win)
After a bout of weeping The Drugmonkey continued. "I was lost and unsure how to handle this. I prayed and cried. I went on a Native American visionquest journey and reached deep into my soul, and finally, I think I may have the answer."
"I will offer a full refund to this unsatisfied asswipe who is evidently the center of the universe. Every penny they have ever paid to access my blog shall be returned. I will also realize that anyone who claims to be a "long time fan" and never seen an Onion-like post is full of shit. "
At press time The Drugmonkey was unsure if he should change his mind and beg forgiveness from the asshole.
5 comments:
Your blog is great!
I hate to blame the victim, but you do have that little link over yonder that says "Tell Me What You Think". I'm not gonna come right out and say you asked for it, but, well...you know.
But since you asked; I think you're fucking brilliant. I am also an advid and loose fan of yours, having purchased both your books not only for myself, but also as gifts. Right up until this moment, however, I had never pondered whether or not I too was a satisfied book owner, like your Long Time Fan claims to be. After a few seconds of deep soul searching and ball scratching (metaphorically, obviously), I'm sorry to report that I am not. After I finished reading your first book, not only was I not satisfied, but your book left me hungering and desperate for even more Drugmonkey. I am your insatiable fan. (And advid and loose.) Don't change a hair on your sexy head, or a thought in your sexy brain. EVER.
I'm not going to say that a fanatically advid and loose fan would be analogous to a pharmacist that can't spell 'elixir'. (Yes, dear, it's NOT 'elixer'), but neither should they be castigated like a neurologist who writes for Ativan for anxiety and 'aggitation'. Makes my hair stand on end. For all advid, footloose fans running about hither and yon, let's hear it for the man, or the boy, or whatever. Let's give him a hand...out. No mea culpa. I, too, thought it mighty strange that the mega-giant managers were being dealt a severance package so fine, and was stumped at why they didn't think it just fine to go back to running lick, stick and pour. Maybe, they weren't real druggists to begin with? Or, maybe it was hush money?
I'm just happy to hear that the Moody Shrew is loose.
"Tell me what you think" means "actually think".
Also he didn't say he wouldn't mock idiotic non-thoughts mercilessly.
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