Tuesday, September 08, 2015

Wisdom Teeth Are Proof Of Intelligent Design. Because God Had Every Reason To Give You Too Many Teeth To Fit In Your Mouth.

Not to mention tonsils and the appendix.

Psalm 139:14 -I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well.

Except for the fact that the openings of the esophagus and trachea are too close together. Easy to choke and die that way.

  Matthew 5:48  -You therefore must be perfect, as your heavenly Father is perfect.

And cholesterol that can build up in coronary arteries is then somehow an instrument of perfection, even though a guy working for General Motors who came up with a system like that would have been fired.

Hangnails. The fact that a little piece of snot can make it hard to breathe. Lenses in your eye that wear out and make it harder to focus on things up close. I'm on a roll now.

I see god in the fact that my testicles are hanging out there for anyone to take a whack at. A turtle has a friggin' shell over his whole body for chrissakes. Putting a little protection over the boys was too much?

Ever see a leopard with a twisted ankle? Then why the hell are ours made like that?

Menstrual cycles? Really? And tartar that builds up on the last set of teeth you're ever gonna get.

Not to mention my favorite. Who the fuck designed the prostate gland? WHO. THE FUCK. DESIGNED THE PROSTATE GLAND???? Let's take a thing that gets bigger with age and wrap it around the pee tube. THE PEE TUBE! What a great fucking idea. How do you get rid of a good chunk of your body's metabolic waste? YOU PEE IT OUT! How do you regulate the body's osmotic balance? BY BEING ABLE TO PEE OUT EXCESS WATER! WHICH MEANS IT'S KIND OF IMPORTANT TO BE ABLE TO PEE! YET YOU BIBLE THUMPING IDIOTS CLAIM PUTTING SOMETHING THAT'S GONNA SWELL AND GET BIGGER AROUND THE PEE TUBE IS A GRAND IDEA!

WWWWWWWWHHHHHHHHHHHHHHYYYYYYYYYYYY????????????????????

It's an interesting little catch-22 really. Belief that god made you prefect is evidence in itself of your imperfection. If this is what your little imaginary friend came up with when he went for perfect, I'm kinda glad it's us people who design airplanes.

5 comments:

DrJohn said...

You missed the big one. Why, if properly made, do we have to Poop...

Moody Shrew said...

And why do men have nipples (and, occasionally, breasts)?

Anonymous said...

Ok let's go deep on this one. God made Adam and Eve in his image. Sure. They were perfect right? If they are perfect (without sin), why did they sin? Ask a biblical scholar this question. Or was Moses just some crazy nut that talked to God a lot?

Anonymous said...

Why would an intelligent designer put the entertainment park so close to the waste station? Let's face it, nothing intelligent about that one.

Chris said...

You wouldn't have problems of entertainment parks being close to waste stations nowadays. Sim City schooled a generation of town planners. It's like having a mini-God in your PC.